Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Cook the ditalini according to package instructions until al dente. Drain, rinse with cold water until completely cool, and set aside.
Line a large baking sheet with parchment paper. Arrange the bacon strips and jalapeño halves (cut-side down) on the sheet in a single layer, making sure nothing overlaps.
Place the sheet pan in a cold oven and turn it on to 400°F. Bake for 15–20 minutes, or until the bacon is crispy and the jalapeños are softened and lightly charred.
Transfer the bacon and jalapeños to a paper towel-lined plate and let cool for a few minutes. Once cool enough to handle, chop both into bite-sized pieces.
In a large mixing bowl, combine the softened cream cheese, mayonnaise, Greek yogurt, lemon juice, salt, pepper, and garlic powder. Beat with a hand mixer (or whisk vigorously) until smooth and creamy.
Add the cooled pasta, chopped bacon, chopped jalapeños, shredded cheddar, and green onions to the bowl with the dressing. Stir until everything is evenly coated.
Serve immediately, or cover and refrigerate for at least 30 minutes to let the flavors meld. Enjoy cold or at room temperature!